To My Children

As parents, most of the time, being a mother or father is what defines who we are. Our children look at us only to see mom or dad. They don’t see the laughter we know amongst other adults. They don’t see the tears that flow because of our own hurt feelings. They don’t know the child inside of us that wants to be loved, admired, accepted, considered.

They know that mom will wash some laundry, dad will cook a meal. They see dad working while mom is tending a sick sibling. They don’t see the enjoyment dad gets from truck-pulling or mom gets from reading a book uninterrupted.

They can’t know what we are like when we get a weekend away, without the responsibilities of adulthood weighing on our shoulders. They can’t understand the need/want to just sleep in that extra few minutes in the morning and be allowed to do that without getting the screams of children or cries of the babies.

They don’t know that their mom or dad used to be where they (the children) are now. Mom enjoyed hanging out with friends at a movie, bowling, etc. Dad enjoyed sitting outside, drink in hand, goofing off with his buddies. Mom liked waking up at noon on any given day. Dad enjoyed going ‘speed’ down the road on his Harley.

Oh, but as we grow, our priorities change. The life an adult actually lives may not be the perfect life that he/she envisioned, but it is a  life they chose.  For myself, I am happy with my choices. If given the chance, I wouldn’t change anything because it all got me here, with the man I love and the beautiful children I have in my midst.

But, although true, there are 16 things I’d like my children to know about me that makes me who I am as a person rather than just the mom they see, know, and love.

  1. I was a crazy, fun teenager. I like laughter and lots of it.
  2. I enjoy time to myself. The quiet. The solitude.
  3. I absolutely hate moving, but I love to travel. I love to see new places.
  4. My feelings get hurt easily. This is shown any number of ways. Through tears, mostly, but impatience and ill-temper as well.
  5. I see the beauty in everything. From the very first rays of the sun (if I’m up early enough) to a torrential rain on a summer day.
  6. I love God and pray for everyone every day.
  7. I want to live in the south again.
  8. I am extremely friendly, but get nervous around people so my friendliness is an attribute that is found once you get to know me.
  9. I hate spiders and snakes and bugs.
  10. I love the water, but actually am a little scared of it.
  11. I can’t grow long nails and I would love to be able to. When I get my nails done, I like the french manicure.
  12. I could get lost in a wet paper sack. Do Not, I repeat DO NOT, ever ask me for directions!
  13. People in my past that I wish I still ‘knew’: my best friend in high school in Georgia, Michelle and my closest friend while pregnant with my oldest child: Sarah
  14. I didn’t have any plans for my life except to one day be married and have my own family. Both have since been accomplished.
  15. I am stubborn. I don’t like to be bullied. I don’t like being bossed. In my younger years, I was a very independent soul. As I get older, the family life, the mom title, suits me.
  16. I love each and every one of my children more than they can possibly fathom.

To my children, I love you.

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