To My Boys

boys

Raising boys is so different than raising girls and I’ve heard multiple times that girls are easier. However, with 5 boys and 3 girls, I have to disagree with that opinion. I have found my girls much easier to raise just because I am one and can understand them a little easier.

I am married to a man that just so happens to have been a boy at one point, but much of the time, our disagreements come from misunderstandings.

So, I have come to the conclusion that

  1. a) I don’t understand the male species or
  2. b) I don’t think at all on the same page as my husband.

Either way, it all boils down to misunderstandings.

With that said, here’s 25 things I want my boys to know:

  1. Always be you! You are made perfectly the way you are. Here’s where you let your ego lie….I didn’t say You are perfect. I said you are perfect the way you are, the way God made you.
  2. Emotions are perfectly normal. It IS perfectly okay to talk about these feelings with the person you are in love with. In fact, it’s recommended and encouraged.
  3. When a woman cries it could be a multitude of things: something you said, something you did, something someone else said or did, a broken heart, a happy heart, anger, frustration, and so much more. When she cries, don’t get mad at her, don’t get impatient with her. Simply. Listen. To. Her. If it happens to be you that caused her to cry, apologize. And mean it!
  4. Learn to cook, run the dishwasher, the washer, and the dryer. Learn to clean a toilet, mop/sweep the floor, vacuum, basically all the household chores that I do. Being able to care for yourself when you leave home is necessary. Plus, when you find a partner, it’s nice for her to get a break from it. Trust me, she will love you more for it.
  5. Get off your phone! Have an actual face-to-face conversation with other people. Make an effort to be sociable.
  6. Stand up for what you believe in. It’s easy to follow a crowd, but we weren’t made to play follow the leader. Otherwise, we’d all be the same and we wouldn’t have to worry about differences.
  7. Always work hard toward what you want, but don’t throw others under the bus to get there. Be fair because life isn’t.
  8. Everyone. Remember the lesson. People will hurt you, make you angry, stab you in the back, use you, stand against you, and take advantage of your kindnesses or weaknesses. When this happens, forgive them. Forgiveness helps you! But, don’t forget what you learned through the experience. For every person that wrongs you is another person that will do right by you.
  9. Always put the toilet seat down in mixed company. It’s just the considerate thing to do. It’s the worst feeling in the world to sit down on the toilet only to fall in. Trust me on this.
  10. Alwayspay on a first date, even if she offers. If you get more dates with her, be the gentleman and continue to pay. If there’s not, you’ve lost nothing. Either way, you’ve shown respect.
  11. Never insult a girl’s family, friends, or past relationships. She will always love her family, friends will come and go, past relationships she has hopefully learned from. If you can’t accept everything about her then she doesn’t need to be part of your life.
  12. Yes, I understand one of the first instincts we have in a disgreement is to do back what has been done to us, but this is not the right path to follow. Two wrongs do not make a right, contrary to popular belief.
  13. Choose friends wisely because they will influence the direction of your life. And you have to live in your life. The old adage ‘you are what you hang with’ works quite nicely when determining your friends.
  14. Be honest. No. Matter. What. Be honest with yourself, your spouse, your friends, your family, your boss, etc. etc. This does not give permission to be mean. You can be honest without being mean.
  15. Respect and honor the women in your life. They are worthy of it. As they say, women came from the rib, not the mind to be superior, not the feet to be walked on, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved.
  16. Pride goeth before the fall. Every single person alive has an ounce of pride. However, don’t become so full of pride that you can’t admit your mistakes. Be humble in your endeavors.
  17. You can call me any time, day or night, if you are drunk. Yes, I will be angry at the drunken-ness, but I would be in worse shape emotionally if you drove and hurt someone. So call me.
  18. Find a career based on what you like rather than how much money you can earn. You will spend over half your life working so pick something you enjoy. Money does not equal happiness.
  19. Put more value in people than in material things. We can’t take it to the grave with us, but the memories of us will live in the minds of those around us. Leave a good memory.
  20. Be a positive role model. Many people in the world look up to someone. Be one of those people that can be looked up to.
  21. You have every right to defend yourself. But it’s okay to be that guy that walks away if the situation allows. But, NEVER hit a woman. By woman, I mean someone born as a female, even if she doesn’t act like a lady.
  22. Leave home and experience life. Experience. Learn. Make mistakes. Regrets are a dime a dozen, easy to come by and hard to let go.
  23. Keep an open mind. You don’t know everything and never will but allow yourself to keep learning. This applies to everything. Being able to change a tire is just as important as throwing a football, balancing a checkbook, and cooking yourself a meal.
  24. Be nice. Use your manners. It will get you further than being an obnoxious. Plus, it’s more attractive.
  25. Call your mother at least once a week. She loves you and thinks of you everyday!

Remember, life is not easy. Your parents love you. You will fail, but without failure one can’t succeed. Always Love. Always.

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