Becoming a mother is a part of life that society is teaching to be unimportant. In reality, it is one of the most important contributions we can make.
My opinions of this are very biased because all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. the mothering part started before the wife-ing part, but regardless, I did give something up to become an unplanned mom at the young age of 19.
But, unplanned or not, it’s a mishap I’ve NEVER regretted.
So, what did I give up?
9 things I gave up:
- the chance to become absolutely and disgustingly selfish. I don’t believe I’ve ever been a selfish person, but having my first kid at 19 taught me to be selfless. What my son needed from me physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially was more important than what I might have wanted. His needs and wants came before mine. But it didn’t matter because I just wanted to love him, provide for him, and take care of him.
- the chance to do dumber, more irresponsible things with my life such as becoming a drunk, being reckless in general, and/or worse, absolutely nothing.
- my heart to a wonderful, perfect little being at which point my life was no longer my own but one that was needed to help another have and sustain life.
- my chance at becoming something bigger such as having a career. However, I quickly realized that being a mother is the BIGGEST accomplishment I could ever offer this world. Not because it’s all I can do, be, or learn, but because it’s one of the BEST things in life that I can give back to my creator, to God.
- the chance to live completely carefree because the moment I became a mother, my heart was in my throat. His hurts became mine, his happinesses became mine, his concerns became mine, his joys became mine. Everything he felt I felt. Everything he heard, I heard. Everything he smiled at, laughed at, cooed at, cried about became my smiles, my coos, my cries.
- my sanity because who really wants such a boring life anyway?!? Motherhood is never dull.
- the need to control everything around me. Motherhood has the ability to make life livable in a way that nothing else can. It reminds us of the simplest pleasures, the greatest joys, and the never-ending failures. In the process of trying to control this life, we sometimes forget the small things.
- my stubborn-ness because I will tell you, 17 years later, just how stubborn my kids can be. It soon becomes a battle of wills, one in which I am not willing to engage in. They, too, will learn. Stubborn-ness can be your greatest friend, or your worst enemy, more-than-likely, the latter.
- the notion that I know everything because in reality, I know nothing. I learn every single day. I am actively involved in getting through this trip called motherhood with my heart intact and my children growing up to be contributing members of society that can and will act selflessly and responsibly with love in theirs hearts and brains in their heads.
Being a mother was never an event that would haunt me for years to come. It was, however, a blessing bestowed upon me that I enjoy every day. Don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days, we all do. I just choose to not let those define my experiences as a mother. They only enhance it.