Oftentimes, after an argument with my husband, it’s easy to remain angry at him, but also at myself. One opportunity I had over this week to think kind thoughts was just after one such moment, an argument. Rather than let the thoughts of sadness of anger keep pulling further and further into the hole of despair, I reminded myself that although he was angry and I was angry, we do still love one another. Yes, angry words were spoken, but that’s all they are — angry words. I really work hard and pray much to let those angry words go. When I choose to act in kindness instead of anger during stressful moments, he stops in his tracks. he doesn’t quite know how to respond. And it’s the same when he makes that same choice. In the heat of the moment, when someone is wanting to lash out, it’s quite disarming for said person which person on the receiving end gives nothing by way of argument or reprimand. As I’ve always heard, you can’t argue with yourself. A very true sentiment that carries a lot of weight. I have found it very hard to argue with myself.
Normally, I am a person that will engage in an argument for the sake of getting the other person to understand where I am coming from, what I am trying to say, and possibly to change their mind and agree with me. So many times, actually more often than not, it never works the way I want it to. In the midst of an argument, people are arguing because they disagree, are not understanding the others’ point of view, and are unwilling to let their mind be swayed. Over this week (actually something I’ve been working on for months) is to stop trying to change someone’s mind. We are all different and have something unique to offer. The differences are what create the relationship to be unique.
The other thing I’ve learned, is to be kind JUST FOR the SAKE of being kind even in disagreements. I am a kind person anyway. I always try to focus on the positive in most situations, but as I’ve said, most often I react first and think later in moments of stress. When this happens, I am not thinking of kindness. I am not thinking. This challenge has definitely taught me to think before I speak. It seems I am a work in progress.
Outside of disagreements, kind thoughts come easy for me. I generally try to be kind to everyone. As I’ve said previously, being aware of what’s going on around me and of my own thoughts and words makes it much easier to see the kindness. Sometimes, I will catch myself in the middle of a kind act and think to myself: “how nice that was for me to do or to say.” And then, just feel such a peace within myself to be followed by a rejuvenation in my spirit. I did something this past week so not like me at all and afterwards, when I was telling my husband about it, I felt on top of the world. What I did is not as important as how it made the person feel and how it made me feel.
The change in me and how I view the world around me is exciting. I look forward to the coming weeks.