I recently made a post about a trip that my husband and I took with my father-in-law….it was business, but we made time for play 🙂
My kiddos were divided between my parents’ house and my mother-in-law’s house because she declined to go on the trip because…well I don’t really know why but she did want to keep my girls.
Yay! Some time for me…some time with my husband….some time away from the kids. Every parents dream, right? It’s not unheard of to have some time away from the responsibilities of parenthood. I mean, it happens quite a bit. There’s business, there’s pleasure, and there’s nurturing the relationship with a spouse….or whatever. As is said “if a reason/excuse is needed then any reason/excuse will do” (unknown). When parents want time away from their children, they find a reason/excuse and a way for it to work out.
Here I am….on a business trip, meeting my responsibilities of being on this business trip. As mentioned in the Exciting News! post, my in-laws own a sewing shop and as strictly a Bernina dealer, the store offers Bernina machines which include sewing machines, embroidery machines, long arm quilting machines, and sergers. The shop also carries a large selection of choice fabric, needles, thread, and other sewing supplies. My husband and I are taking an interest in the store as his parents are closing the gap on retirement. Working alongside them, they are teaching my husband the ins and outs of the business. Anyway, the reason for the trip was to learn of new products, changes in product, and attend training on Bernina machines as Bernina does require certification of anyone who sells their brand. A bunch of technical stuff and information for store owners to increase sales. That’s the gist of it, maybe more, maybe less. We attended three days of training classes, creativity classes, informational classes to help the store grow. With that portion of the trip taking much of our time plus the exploring we did over the course of the week, we stayed pretty busy.
Oh, the excitement of the carefree life…you know, that life before children. That life between, on average, the ages of 18 to 30, give or take. Responsibilities, ehh, yeah. Jobs, car payments, insurance all the way around, the ‘adulting’ part of life. But, with no kids, still pretty much able to do as one pleases. Turns out, I never had that. I had my first kid when I was 18 so parenting came pretty early which means I bypassed the carefree lifestyle. Wouldn’t change it though. Not even a little bit. So, when my husband and I get the chance to be a little carefree….well, we take it 🙂
And there lies the problem….Oh, I enjoy every minute of that time devoted to growing, evolving our relationship, but -as has happened on each trip we’ve taken without the kids — within a day or two, that carefree life begins to not mesh with me. I start thinking about the kids, wishing the kids were with us, wondering how the kids are…..Missing the kids. They don’t become the focus of the trip because, as with this latest trip, there’s some responsibility, but I also whole-heartily believe in keeping the marital relationship strong and thriving through focused time together, devotion to one another, encouraging and maintaining the foundation on which our marriage is built while deepening our friendship, loyalty, trust, commitment, and love. As with any relationship, marriages need to be nurtured in order to grow so even though the carefree life isn’t suitable for me, I still make it a point to focus on our marriage when we are able to get time away from the kids, business trip or otherwise.
As I get older and my kids get older, all the sudden carefree doesn’t seem so important. In fact, it’s probably the least important thing to me. I enjoyed our trip, but I realized, I’d rather be a mother and with my children all the time than to live that carefree life on a daily basis. Kids grow up so fast, so many changes take place from one year to the next in who they are and who they will become. And that is what I want to be present for so carefree…uh-uh, not so much. I’m perfectly suited to being a wife and mothering the children that God so generously blessed me with.
My heart belongs to God, my husband and my kids where it shall remain.