An apology to some can be extremely difficult.
One evening I got into an argument with my oldest son because he refused to apologize for a simple mistake, not on his part, that ended with something that shouldn’t have been said to anyone, let alone his brother. Later on, I found out that he did apologize, but his whole attitude with me was that he had no reason to apologize because what happened was not his fault. He failed to understand that I wasn’t blaming him for what happened, but I was holding him accountable for the words that he used as nobody made him use those words.
Oftentimes, when my husband and I get into disagreement he has a hard time apologizing. I always assume that pride prohibits him from apologizing for what he has said or done that led to the argument. I do not blame him for each argument that we get into, but again, I do blame him for his actions and his words.
One question: why is so hard for one to apologize, but another person can apologize so easily?
I often apologize, profusely even, for things I’ve done that cause hurt for another or cause undue hardship on another. It’s in my nature. I have no problem admitting I am wrong, but for some people it’s like being on the precipice whereas apologizing equals that slight move in the wrong direction resulting in falling over the edge.
I am slowly learning that I can influence those around me to do the right thing by doing the right thing myself. I am slowly learning that I am accountable only for my behaviors. I can’t change someone else’s behaviors, but I can change how I react to the things that cause me to feel angry or hurt.
As they say, lead by example because actions do speak louder than words.