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2018-05-18 07.02.29

As you all know, I’m sure, my son took his life one month and four days ago.

It’s been a tough month. My son’s paternal grandmother tried taking over the funeral planning. It was only through our own digging and my oldest son, that my husband and I found out about the funeral planning meeting. Fortunately, we were able to attend. The funeral director was less than helpful to us on that day. He informed us that since my son’s father and I weren’t together that if the father and I couldn’t agree on funeral plans then he would be going with the father’s wishes despite what century code (law) and custody order says. To top it off, the father was not even present, his mother was. Well, since I am the mother of my son, I wasn’t going to let her push me around. Although, sneakily, she had already decided on him getting cremated and where his ashes would be buried.

She wanted him buried 25+ miles away in a town he didn’t want to live in but was forced to move to (had been there less than a year) rather than the town he grew up in, the town where he was conceived and raised in, the town where much of his family and friends are. I fought that and she grudgingly gave in when she realized I wasn’t backing down.

After that bump in the road, she sneakily threw in later on, as I was having a private conversation with my husband, that my son was being cremated. At the word cremation, I quickly looked up and informed her he would not be getting cremated. The funeral director and the grandma tried to convince me otherwise. I stood my ground about cremation, got up to leave and said, ‘he better not get cremated or I will sue this funeral home,’ and walked out.

Since my son’s dad was not present and I was, his dad relinquished all rights to the funeral planning as per state law. Without me there, they couldn’t move forward with planning. The funeral director later called me and the grandmother agreed to the burial rather than cremation.

As per the agreement, since I wanted him not cremated then I had to purchase the vault, the casket, and the cemetery plot. I also had to pay for preparation of body for burial.

My husband and I were able to cover those costs, but are running short on cost of the headstone.

Please consider donating. Your kindness is appreciated more than I can put into words. The link is below.

https://www.gofundme.com/darrens-funeral-expense

Shannon Avard

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