As we are enjoying the last week of summer vacation, my heart grows heavier with each passing day.
Every teenager and parent anticipates the excitement of senior year. Darren was no different, although his reasons may have been different. He couldn’t wait to get out of school. He wanted to be done so he could begin his life out from under the control of his parents.
He will not be attending senior year.
As I see all the fresh senior pics posted around me, my heart grows heavier.
Darren’s will not be one of them.
He and I discussed senior pictures earlier this year. It was something I was looking forward to. He and I shared that passion for photography. And he was very photogenic.
So, this is only one of the many milestones I will never see in his life.
I will never see him enjoy being the uncle to his little niece when she is born.
I will never see him go to college or not….whichever he would have decided.
I will never see him get married or have children of his own.
I will never get to hear him talk about his joys or see his smile.
It breaks my heart to know these things, but I can’t really stay in this place of darkness. I can’t undo what has been done. I can’t run away from it. I can’t wish it to change as much as I want to.
What I can do is remember him and learn how to live each day without him.
And I’m not looking forward to that.
#FightSuicide #MissingHimBad #LoveHimForeverLikeHimForAlways #Darren #Smoochie