So often, in fact more-often-than-not, I hear people say:
Why should I apologize for what I’ve done……..
Let me tell you why:
We apologize not for the benefit of the other person. We apologize for the benefit of God.
Friends, we cannot control what others do. We cannot control what type of person another is. We cannot control the attitudes of others. We cannot control the beliefs of others. We cannot control A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. but
My husband and I are constantly trying to get it through our children’s heads that they cannot control one another, but they can control themselves. They can control how they react in any situation. They can control the words they say and the actions they take.
In today’s self-centered world,
is made to take responsibility for their actions. For instance, my son was being bullied in school. When he finally stood up for himself, which progressed into a physical altercation between he and the other kid, my kid is the one who got in-school detention (during school hours he had to sit in the principal’s office all day). The other kid only got reprimanded. I understand a no tolerance policy in regard to fighting, but the school also has the no tolerance policy for bullying as well. It makes no sense! After this incident, my husband and I both had conversations with the principal of the school. Please understand I am in NO WAY condoning my child’s behavior. I don’t want children who want to handle their conflicts with their fists.
But, this post isn’t about how I want my children or how we are raising our children to be, it’s about the need for apology.
The world is such an ugly place that apologizing for the wrongs we do tends to make it a little better place, at least in my opinion. The apology itself shows that one isn’t just thinking of him/herself, but is, in fact, thinking of another.
Anyone can have character when situations and circumstances are in a good place. It takes real integrity and character to act with goodness in the face of negative or evil situations/circumstances.
It’s easy to say ‘I have to revenge because said person did this or that.’
It’s in the Old Testament – Exodus 21 – in which we return behaviors based on another’s behaviors. This chapter of Exodus outlines how we treat others. Back in the days of the Old Testament an ‘eye for an eye’ was perfectly acceptable, probably even expected.
However, the new covenant is one of love and forgiveness. Jesus spread the word of love to any and all who would listen. He also teaches actions such as forgiveness.
For instance, Luke 6:29
To the person who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other one as well, and from the person who takes your cloak, do not withhold even your tunic.
Jesus is not implying that we should or should not react out of retaliation. He is, however, inferring that we should return love in situations in which love was not given, such as slapping one’s cheek.
As you can see, when Jesus is going through His sufferings, He never once asked God to revenge His sufferings, but rather, He offered pleading on behalf of His crucifiers,
Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” – Luke 23:34
So, the new mantra should be:
I forgive you not only because I love you, but also because I love Jesus.
In the end, an apology is just a nice thing to do, but it is also a stepping stone in Your walk with Jesus.
We apologize because……..
we were wrong for whatever the action we took or the word we said. The motivation behind what we said/did may not be wrong, but how we handle the situation can be right or wrong. For instance, my son wasn’t wrong for wanting to defend himself. He was wrong in how he defended himself.
We apologize as……….
a sign of peace. I am a person who likes peace. I don’t care for drama or fighting or upset at all. I enjoy peace. But when I am wronged, I try ( I say try because I have a long way to go) to react with God in my heart. As I said, this doesn’t always happen because I do speak and act hastily. A lot! And then it’s me offering apology (peace).
We apologize because…….
we love Jesus and Jesus is the PERFECT example of forgiveness. Did He not forgive those who wronged Him? Did He not continue to love everyone despite the evil He endured?
Walk with peace today, my friends, offer an apology where an apology is due, and offer forgiveness to those who wrong you.
Blessings to you this day.