Anything Goes, Life in General, Wifehood

Marriage

Dazzling thought for the day:

My parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year! Boy, does that put my age into perspective?!? Wow!

My mother- and father-in-law have been married at least 45 years, I believe.

My grandparents, at the time of my grandpa’s death in 2005, would have celebrated their 50th anniversary the following year.

And this paves the way for this particular post topic: Marriage.

The marriages of longevity mentioned above are symbolic of that era: 40+ years ago. The hard life that people who lived during¬†that time-frame endured taught many life¬†values that have since disappeared such as hard work, commitment, putting others before oneself, looking ahead rather than living for the moment (the ‘I want it now, I deserve it now, I will get it now’ attitude that is so prevalent in society these days) and the understanding that the actions of one affect many.

One simple and often overlooked concept I’ve learned over the years, one¬†that covers of multitude of circumstances is: Just because something can be done doesn’t mean it should be done.¬†Sadly, society today operates completely opposite of¬†that concept – again the ‘I want it now, I deserve it now, I will get it now (often at the expense of others)’ attitude.

My husband has often informed me that I carry that very same attitude (I want it now) sometimes.

And you know what?

Much to my dismay, he’s right!

Finally acknowledging that truth will now allow me to reevaluate certain things in my life and to improve those shortcomings through prayer and conscientious change.

I want a marriage of longevity. I want my marriage to last until death do us part. I want a marriage to¬†sustain and thrive through all that life throws at us. I get that you can’t force someone to remain married. It only takes one person in the marriage to file for divorce. I’m not quite certain how it works, but as many divorces that occur each year, I’m under the impression that one is granted even if both parties don’t agree. Put simply, a judge will grant the divorce regardless. Again, I’ve not experienced divorce so I don’t know how it works, just assuming.

Going backwards, though, to marriage and longevity. Again, the premise that just because it can be done doesn’t mean it should be done applies during the times of trouble. Marriage has become commonplace and completely disposable. Couples promise their love and commitment to one another (and all that that entails) only to divorce at the first sign of trouble, ranging anywhere from months to years.

 

What I’ve learned during my marriage is marriage takes more than just husband and wife. It also takes God’s presence and requires husband/wife to trust in Him first. Trusting in God doesn’t eliminate troubles and trials, but He¬†is a source of strength, love, forgiveness and so much more. He affords us many graces during marriage that strengthen the bond between husband and wife.

I pray that our marriage will last our lifetime.

Daily Encourgement, Life in General

Her Wedding Day

The BIG weekend was upon them. A weekend that had been in the making for the better part of a lifetime, but the actual planning process only 8-10 months. The wait seemed to go rather slowly,¬†couldn’t get here quick enough, but is now only one night’s sleep away. As happens quite frequently where time is concerned, it goes rather quickly when we want/need it to slow down with the exact opposite effect when we need/want it to speed up. A very well-known fact that is proven daily in the workplace, home-life, just about any area of life.

It’s the celebration that most every woman anticipates from her childhood. It’s a day that some girls spend a small fraction of their life fantasizing¬†about, perfecting even the smallest detail. It’s that memorable moment¬†in a girl’s life when the dream of an innocent young girl meets the reality of a beautiful, ready-to-spread-my-wings young lady. It’s almost a right of passage into the next chapter of her story.

As a result of the childhood anticipation, dreaming, and all that led up to this long awaited moment, her dream is about to come true. Through hours and hours of endless planning that progressed¬†at a snail’s pace, tweaking¬†of details as one idea led to another, changing what was questionable because questionable is not okay, and finalizing what was agreed upon resulting in one more item checked off the list, she is now at the threshold of one of the most dramatic and rewarding changes in her life.

For some, every flower, boutonniere, head-piece, and table setting was crafted by her hand in any spare moment she could snag. For others, she may only have to show up, dress up, and say her “I Do.”

No matter if she took part in the planning process or if she hired someone to worry over it for her, she is now a beautiful bride escorted (hopefully) by her father to a moment of truth for two people madly in love. Standing, arm-in-arm with her father, at the back of the waiting guests, a million thoughts flip through her mind. Excitement for what the future holds. Fear of the unknown. Anticipation of possible changes. Happiness at knowing she’s been blessed with something wonderful.

As her father slowly walks her down the aisle, she feels none of the nervousness the had anticipated knowing all eyes would be focused on her. She feels beautiful in her white gown with the flowing train trailing behind her, shooshing around her feet with every step. Her eyes shine with the love that she feels for her soon-to-be husband. The joy she feels radiates from her as she walks, spreading to each individual she passes. She doesn’t see them. She knows they are there, but all she really sees before her is the man she loves, the man she’s about to promise the rest of her life to.

And, as they say, the rest is history. Jobs. Homes. Kids. And a hundred plus other things that occur over a lifetime.

Time, as slowly or as quickly as it moves, doesn’t ever stop so every second counts. Each moment in our life is a moment creating a memory to be cherished. It’s my goal to make each one matter.

 

Life in General, Motherhood

Carefree Lifestyle or Not?

I recently made a post about a trip that my husband and I took with my father-in-law….it was business, but we made time for play ūüôā

Anywhoo….

My kiddos were divided between my parents’ house and my mother-in-law’s house because she declined to go on the trip because…well I don’t really know why but she did want¬†to keep my girls.

Yay! Some time for me…some time with my husband….some time away from the kids. Every parents dream, right? It’s not unheard of to have some time away from the responsibilities of parenthood. I mean, it happens quite a bit. There’s business, there’s pleasure, and there’s nurturing the relationship with a spouse….or whatever. As is¬†said “if a reason/excuse is needed then any reason/excuse will do” (unknown). When parents want time away from their children, they find a reason/excuse and a way for it to work out.

Anyway, so…..

Here I am….on a business trip, meeting my responsibilities of being on this business trip. As mentioned in the¬†Exciting News!¬†post, my in-laws own a sewing shop and as strictly a Bernina dealer, the store offers Bernina machines which¬†include sewing machines, embroidery machines, long arm quilting machines, and sergers. The shop also carries a large selection of choice fabric, needles, thread, and other sewing supplies. My husband and I are taking an interest in the store as his parents are closing the gap on retirement. Working alongside them, they are teaching my husband the ins and outs of the business. Anyway, the reason for the trip was to learn of new products, changes in product, and attend training on Bernina machines as Bernina does require certification of anyone who sells their brand. A bunch of technical stuff and information for store owners to increase sales. That’s the gist of it, maybe more, maybe less. We attended three days of training classes, creativity classes, informational classes to help the store grow. With that portion of the trip taking much of our time plus the exploring we did over the course of the week, we stayed pretty busy.

Oh, the excitement of the carefree life…you know, that life before children. That life between, on average, the ages of 18 to 30, give or take. Responsibilities, ehh, yeah. Jobs, car payments, insurance all the way around, the ‘adulting’ part of life. But, with no kids, still pretty much able to do as one pleases. Turns out, I never had that. I had my first kid when I was 18 so parenting came pretty early which means I bypassed the carefree lifestyle. Wouldn’t change it though. Not even a little bit. So, when my husband and I get the chance to be a little carefree….well, we take it ūüôā

And there lies the problem….Oh, I enjoy every minute of that time devoted to growing, evolving our relationship, but -as has happened on each trip we’ve taken without the kids — within a day or two, that carefree life begins to not mesh with me. I start thinking about the kids, wishing the kids were with us, wondering how the kids are…..Missing the kids. They don’t¬†become the focus of the trip because, as with this latest trip, there’s some responsibility, but I also whole-heartily believe in keeping the marital relationship strong and thriving through focused time together, devotion to one another, encouraging and maintaining the foundation on which our marriage is built while deepening our friendship, loyalty, trust, commitment, and love. As with any relationship, marriages need to be nurtured in order to grow so even though the carefree life isn’t suitable for me, I still make it a point to focus on our marriage when we are able to get time away from the kids, business trip or otherwise.

As I get older and my kids get older, all the sudden carefree doesn’t seem so important. In fact, it’s probably the least important thing to me. I enjoyed our trip, but I realized, I’d rather be a mother and with my children all the time than to live that carefree¬†life on a daily basis. Kids grow up so fast, so many changes take place from one year to the next in who they are and who they will become. And that is what I want to be present for so carefree…uh-uh, not so much. I’m perfectly suited to being a wife and mothering the children that God so generously blessed me with.

My heart belongs to God, my husband and my kids where it shall remain.

Life in General

Exciting News!

I know! I haven’t posted in forever! With good reason, though. My father-in-law, my husband and I were¬†at the annual Bernina University conference. It’s quite exciting! The theme for the conference was Unmask Amazing which is tell-tale of the location.

New Orleans!

Mardi Gras!

Masquerades!

Overall, I learned quite a bit about Bernina¬†products, the history of the company, and the different products offered through partner companies that include¬†fabrics and other notions. You can’t very well create and complete¬†a sewing project without fabric or thread with as much ease as you can with quality products such as¬†scissors, cutting mats, or rulers of all shapes/sizes and tons of other gadgets.

bernina

The registration booths at the conference. Each dealer for Bernina who attended the conference received a welcome package from Bernina headquarters in Switzerland and Bernina of America at these registration booths. As you can tell, the booths are arranged by dealer last name alphabetical order. And, of course, the main event, Bernina Masquerade Ball (pictures provided at the end of the post).

During the conference, Bernina¬†revealed¬†new product and/or changes to current product that¬†will be available to consumers within the next few months. As required by Bernina, when a store owner chooses to become a Bernina dealer, he/she must be certified on Bernina machines for installation, repairs, and teaching how to use the machine to customers. At the conference, classes were offered to dealers and/or employees of dealers to educate on the machine (about, how to use, how to repair if needed, etc.) If you are a sewist, seamstress, or quilter, then you probably know of Bernina. If not, I’d like to briefly introduce Bernina to you. Bernina is “the¬†world’s premier manufacturer with a proven reputation for offering state-of-the-art sewing and embroidery systems, sergers, and embroidery software” (Bernina website) with familial roots¬†and manufacturing¬†in Switzerland. The company itself has been in business for almost 125 years and has remained within the same family since the beginning. It is a company that promotes family values while providing the most up-to-date products such as the 3, 5, 7, and 8 series sewing and embroidery machines, the long arm quilters such as Bernina Q 20 and Q 24 (which, by the way, provide a fun experience with quilting), as well as Bernina L 220 and L 450 Overlock and Cover/Chainstitch¬†machines plus sewing notions such as needles, foot controls, and suitcases or bags for the machines.

Go ahead, keep reading as even more interesting information can be found further down.

As promised, more Bernina. I have to mention that my father-in-law, a Bernina dealer in the densely populated state of North Dakota (located in Mandan), owns and operates the store Sewing Machines Plus! (not to be confused with a separate sewing machines plus website). The store offers a variety of fabrics, threads, sewing/embroidery systems, and serger machines as well as the long-arm quilting machines with friendly service and an inviting atmosphere. They also offer sewing classes to anyone who is interested and even rent the use of their long arm quilting machines located in their sewing studio, connected to the store. Their website is found here so stop by and check it out (again, the Mandan store is not to be confused with another SewingMachinesPlus.com website as the two stores are completely separate and do not tie into one another). If you have questions on product or services offered, shoot Jim or Angie an email or call the store. For a memorable conversation, if at all possible, swing on into the store as face to face communication is always so much more friendly and encouraging for all involved. Speaking with the owners and/or the employees offers a wider range of conversation and is surely to answer more of your questions plus actually seeing, touching, or even hands-on practice of the machines will definitely grab the interest of experienced quilters as well as those who are not so experienced but have a willingness to learn.

Building
Photo courtesy of Mandan, ND Sewing Machines Plus! website.

But, we didn’t make the trip all about business ūüôā

We can’t possibly go to New Orleans without seeing and experiencing the city, known for its crawfish served in a variety of ways, music of the city: Jazz, and the infamous Bourbon street. The culture in the great state of Louisiana is quite simply amazing. The three of us (my father-in-law, my husband and I) were easily entertained during our stay. I’m sure you’ve heard of the most popular district in New Orleans – the French Quarter (Mardi Gras!). The atmosphere in the French Quarter was relaxing, expressive, and enjoyable. We even rode in a Pedi-Cab!

french quarter

Other areas may not be as entertaining, but most certainly are just as fun to see, such as the Garden District which is like walking back in time. The “antebellum mansions” (http://www.neworleanscvb.com/visit/neighborhoods/garden-district/) are rich with history of Louisiana and are beautiful to look at. Sadly, these two districts are the only ones we were able to visit due to time constraints, but it’s a trip not soon to be forgotten. Our mode of transportation throughout our stay consisted of the trolley ride. I’ve never been on a trolley to get from one place to another so¬†it was quite exciting for me. I boasted the unforgettable smile of the ever-popular kid in the candy store the whole time I was in New Orleans.

trolley

And the buildings, skyscrapers! Beauty. Creativity. Artistic abilities. All tied into one unforgettable city.

buildings

Another big bonus to me was the warmth. You see, I am from the south and currently (and for the better part of the last 20 years) live in the north. Being back in the south, among the trees, southern plant life, the people and yes, the heat was quite refreshing for me. ¬†I told my husband I could stay there forever, but ahh, here I am, back home with God’s greatest blessings, my children who we missed terribly throughout the trip. North Dakota is simply unbearable to me, but I love my kids and my husband which is reason enough for me to stay. It’s unfathomable to even think about leaving here since their (my husband and children) family ties are here, this is where I shall remain. It’s not to bad, but most definitely not my cup of tea.

OMGoodness, I can’t sign off¬†without mentioning the fine Louisiana cuisine. My husband and I didn’t eat one single food¬†that we normally eat at home (either home or out dining).¬†For every meal, we tried¬†a new dish. The foods are absolutely to die for. Some of the foods that we tried are right out of my childhood (a southerner by birth) that¬†I haven’t eaten in years. Such foods include red beans and rice, grits (the hubby likes his with shrimp but I’m not a shrimp person so butter, milk and sugar is my choice for grits which is the way that mama made it when I was a kid), and boiled crawfish (I never ate these in my childhood so completely new to me but delicious!). And spicy! Louisianans definitely like their spice! They don’t call it Cajun food without reason ūüôā Much to my dismay, most places didn’t offer my drink of choice: Dr. Pepper! Since most southerners (at least all the ones I know) prefer Dr. Pepper when not enjoying a cold glass of sweet tea, I was quite perplexed and disappointed that DP was not a popular drink choice in many places we dined. Honestly, I was sad about this ūüė¶

Oh, but I managed to enjoy the trip regardless.

food

As with any major city and/or tourist attraction, you can’t enjoy such a visit without engaging in a least one guided tour ūüôā

Ours just so happened to be a paddle boat cruise on the third longest river in North America and the¬†major river that flows through that part of the country, the mighty Mississippi aka “Big Muddy”. Riverboat Natchez carried us along the river and provided fine dining for those who paid the extra, a New Orleans history lesson, and entertainment¬†with what else other than music that was created in N’Awlins: Jazz. I fell in LOVE with the music and who am I kidding, the city itself!

paddle boat

So, as promised, a few extra pictures from our visit:

opening and ball

As enjoyable as the trip was and as memorable as the experience of New Orleans will always be, my without-a-doubt, hands-down most favorite part of the trip was getting home to our little people. We were gone for almost a week that felt like months, years even. We were undoubtably happy to see our youngins and bring them their treasures we got while in N’Awlins.

lil people

The trip was fun and captivating, but home is where my heart is and will always be ♥♥♥

 

 

Daily Encourgement, Life in General

Beatitudes Post #7

Almost the last one! How sad I am!

The best book that one can own is the Good Book, the Bible. Everything you need to know about life is written within the confines of that Book and this includes the 8 Beatitudes that this series focuses on.

So, with only one more to go after this one, here’s Beatitude #7

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

I believe this is one pretty clear. God is ALL ABOUT LOVE and PEACE is surely a representation of the Love that God is and that He encourages.

Peace.

Peace is the feeling of safety, serenity of heart, and harmony among people. We are a country at peace when we refrain to enter into war within the states or within other countries. We are individuals at peace when we love others by always showing kindness through many different actions and with gentle words. When the spirit is harmonious among us we are at peace.

We are all children of God who were given something called free will or the ability to choose the path we follow, to make choices in our lives that we will be accountable for to God. With that free will, as said, the choices we make as well as the faith we not only carry within us but spread around us will determine God’s judgement of us when He comes again. Living, spreading, encouraging, building and restoring peace in the world while we inhabit it is just one more way to prove our love for God. It’s one more way that we show God’s love for each one of us. Living in peace, being the peacemaker as God¬†promises will name you as His child.

As always, I hope you have a blessed day.

And with each post in this series, if you’re lost the links below will get you caught up. Feel free to leave comments and discover other inspiring posts throughout Blessed Moments -n- Memories.

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/07/07/beatitudes-5/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/27/beatitudes-post-4/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/20/beatitudes-post-3/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/13/beatitudes-post-2/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/06/beatitudes-post-1/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/06/upcoming-series-to-start-soon/

Life in General, Quilting Projects

A Quilt for ……..One Heck of a Fighter

Oh, a few months ago, give or take, someone that is dear to the heart of someone who is dear to my heart was diagnosed with the dreaded and hated, it will never happen to my child Cancer. Just a little guy, only 7 or 8, who now has a long road of recovery before him. He’s not the first child to be diagnosed as there are thousands plus of children who are diagnosed with cancer in any given year and as such, he will not be the last. The numbers are heartbreaking, but rates of survival increase with each year. No matter how many times I hear of a childhood cancer diagnosis, the news doesn’t get easier to bear. However, until such news is knocking on your own backdoor or within your personal circle, it seems so distant and unreal.

Upon learning of this little boys’ diagnosis, I cried for days and will continue to pray for him and his family. I wanted to do something for him that would let him and his family know that he¬†and his family are in¬†the prayers of many people. There wasn’t much I could do by way of money, but I could take the time and supplies I have on hand to make him a quilt. The other day, I finished it and it got¬†delivered to the awesome little fighter it was made for.

Here is the finished product:

In the midst of such trials in our lives, people begin to question God. It seems unfair for this type of heartbreak to happen. We don’t understand, may never understand, but God’s plan is way greater than what the human mind can ever fathom. He’s a loving God who, through every trial we face, is there to be the strength that gets us through, the heart that doesn’t give up, and the love that carries us when we can’t seem to carry ourselves any longer. We only have to let Him know of our pains, heartaches, worries, fears, and weaknesses. We have to trust in Him and have Faith that He is working for us during these times.

The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health. – Psalm 41:3

God is the true healer of all illness. So, please pray for this little guy to be healed and to provide needed strength to his family during this time.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Thanks for stopping by.

Daily Encourgement, Life in General

Beatitudes Post #6

My Goodness! We are sailing right through the 8 Beatitudes. I hope you all have found them to be as encouraging and helpful as I find them to be. Each one is uplifting while reminding me of what is so important in life and how to treat others in my midst. Wise words from our Savior that inspire us to be the kind of person He has created each of us to be.

Beatitude #6

Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.

One of the messages I heard recently during Mass focused on doing good for your neighbor, spreading God’s love to everyone because that is what we are asked to do. In the message, the question of who exactly are the neighbors was raised. Quite simply, your neighbor is anyone that crosses your path in this world. It’s not just the lady next door or the family a couple houses down from yours. It’s also the stranger you pass while walking in the grocery aisle, the homeless guy on the corner, the VIP speaking at the local college that you attend, or the child from the wrong side of the tracks that plays third base on the baseball team you coach. It’s anyone you meet, know pretty well, or not at all. It’s every single person that God created.

With that said, blessed are the pure of heart is being that kind of neighbor who helps, who serves others no matter what without expecting anything in return. God, as it very clearly states, welcomes anyone who chooses to be the kind of neighbor as just described –giving with love, giving without expectation, loving others in the way that God has and does so graciously love us. As has been said, it’s easy to love someone who is what we know, what we are comfortable with, or is showing kindness to us. The true test of love is loving those that we don’t think deserve our love, loving those who have wronged us, loving those who are different.

As such, loving others as God loves us is one of the way that we show our love for the Lord.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Thank you for reading. As always, links are provided for the previous Beatitudes in this series that have already been posted. Feel free to comment or start following if you haven’t already.

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/07/07/beatitudes-5/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/27/beatitudes-post-4/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/20/beatitudes-post-3/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/13/beatitudes-post-2/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/06/beatitudes-post-1/

https://blessedmomentsnmemories.com/2016/06/06/upcoming-series-to-start-soon/

Life in General

Lord’s Day Sunday Post #3

Message of the Mass this fine Sunday:

There was a scholar of the law who stood up to test him and said,
“Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
Jesus said to him, “What is written in the law?
How do you read it?”
He said in reply,
“You shall love the Lord, your God,
with all your heart,
with all your being,
with all your strength,
and with all your mind,
and your neighbor as yourself.”

He replied to him, “You have answered correctly;
do this and you will live.”

But because he wished to justify himself, he said to Jesus,
“And who is my neighbor?”
Jesus replied,
“A man fell victim to robbers
as he went down from Jerusalem to Jericho.
They stripped and beat him and went off leaving him half-dead.
A priest happened to be going down that road,
but when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side.
Likewise a Levite came to the place,
and when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side.
But a Samaritan traveler who came upon him
was moved with compassion at the sight.
He approached the victim,
poured oil and wine over his wounds and bandaged them.
Then he lifted him up on his own animal,
took him to an inn, and cared for him.
The next day he took out two silver coins
and gave them to the innkeeper with the instruction,
‘Take care of him.
If you spend more than what I have given you,
I shall repay you on my way back.’
Which of these three, in your opinion,
was neighbor to the robbers’ victim?”
He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.”
Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

In other words, be helpful, kind, merciful, and loving to everyone every day. The acts that we commit each day do not secure us a spot in the heavenly kingdom, but allowing God to show His love through you is what He’s asking of each one us. The most important part is that God is asking us to be all of these things despite how another is being in return or when another’s lifestyle, beliefs, actions, etc are different from our own.

The other day, my hubby and I went to someone’s house to help tear down and haul away an old, delipidated building that is a hazard to the property owner, her family, and others in the community that may visit her home, invited or otherwise. He’d agreed to removed the building quite a while ago, but hasn’t had time to get to it. While we were there it seemed as if this individual was upset at us about the building so my husband and I decided to leave and not worry about the building. I mentioned to him in frustration later in the evening that if said individual wanted to be so rude and ungrateful for the help that we offered then after the building is completely removed then the individual and her household can do the clean-up of the remaining rubble. I was quite frustrated with that situation. Today’s message reminded me in order to show my love for God and God’s love for me (for all), then my attitude has to be one that says, “Okay, we will get the building removed and then continue to help with the clean-up.”

I am eternally grateful for the wisdom of the Lord.

Life in General

The Story Untold

From the outside looking in or from the inside looking out is no matter. Either way, the story is only half known. The glass is clear, but what we see is not.

One day, a young woman was having a really bad day. She and her husband were arguing, their children were being children and all that that implies, stress was high and patience was low. Her phone rang and she answered it. Her bad day was heard in her voice and the person on the other end of the line said something, without even the least bit of sarcasm, attitude or meanness. Just the words themselves were enough the for young woman to feel offended enough to she hang up.

This young woman happened to be me and the person on the other end of the line happened to be my sister. Without one word of reprimand to my sister for her statement or accusation (whatever it is to be called), I hung up the phone in the middle of whatever came after her remark that hit just the right spot for me that day.

I haven’t ever spoken of this with my sister. It just kind of came and went like a tide, but I remember the 1 to 1.5 ¬†minute conversation before and the words that caused me to hang up. As I said, the words were not mean nor were they rude or disrespectful. In fact, the whole conversation, as short as it was, was perfectly fine. It’s those almost final words, as they rang threw my ears, that aggravated me. In the midst of my bad day, I didn’t want or need to hear the words that she said.

But that’s the glass….so clear from both sides, but each only telling part of the story. In this case, her seemingly harmless words were just enough juice to spark a flame. It wasn’t clear to her that the day hadn’t been going well for me so what seemed like a harmless remark to her was actually my last straw.

Judgment of others is always wrong, but we make them anyway. What’s more, we often, out of stinkyness or orneryness or just plain hatefulness, make rash judgments of others based on things we’ve heard and things we’ve seen first hand with a birds’ eye view. Other times we make judgments based not even on one shred of viable information, but just because.

Let’s get honest for a moment…..

Have you ever judged someone because of what you heard of said person from a friend?

Have you ever judged a boy/girlfriend of your best friend based on what your friend said about boy/girlfriend in the midst of strong emotion?

Have you ever looked at a family and came to a conclusion based on what you see in public without really considering what happens in the privacy of their home?

Have you ever been the one looking out or the one looking in with an opinion formed just from being on said side?

It’s easy to have an opinion. It’s easy to voice it out loud. It’s easy to put another down for their handling of a situation they are involved in. It’s easy to think you could do it better, say it better, handle it better……just be better in whichever situation is taking place that you are privy to. It’s easy when it’s not you that’s living the situation.

It’s not always so easy to see both sides of a coin from either side. In fact, I bet it’s pretty darn impossible to see both sides at the same time without the aid of a mirror or X-ray vision. Yet, it’s the belief of many that looking through the clear glass somehow gives us the ability to judge the bigger picture while only one side is in our direct line of sight.

In the situation with the phone call mentioned earlier, my sister didn’t know I was having a bad day. She didn’t try to deduce that fact from what she heard in my voice as I answered the phone. All she knew was that information needed to be exchanged (I can’t remember what) and that’s why she called. Upon hearing the shortness in my voice, she assumed whatever it was that she assumed to make the remark that she made. Period. The glass was clear on her side….exchange information via phone call. My glass clear on my side…..I was having a bad day. Neither one of us concerned ourselves with what was on the other side of the glass.

Lesson: The view becomes more clear once a glass is cleaned on both sides. To get a complete understanding and to form an evidence-based opinion of a situation, all facets of the situation must be known otherwise the result is a skewed interpretation.

The story untold is what lies on the other side of that otherwise clear glass which somehow beckons one to make a judgement from a minimal amount of information. As has been proven many times over, what you see is not always what you get. For instance, a woman might seem well put together to you as you walk by her house — the normalness of raising a family is visible every where you look when your sight lands on her property — but next week you read about her in the paper about how she broke such and such law and was arrested with what seems to be an excessive amount of charges, etc. etc. Or you have the gentleman down the road who is extremely poor and on the grumpy side so people steer clear of him until one day the gentleman is in need of help which is given from one of the neighborhood kids. At once, neighbors from all around see the true nature of the gentleman which turns out to be quiet, gentle soul who has always been helpful and kind.

The story untold lies just on the other side of that clear glass and it’s up to each and every one of us to put our judgments in check. The world would be a much better place.